The Anguish of a Lost Love

Losing someone or something you love us very painful. After a significant loss, you may experience all kinds of difficult and surprising emotions, such as anger, guilt and shock. Sometimes it may feel like the sadness will never let up. While these feelings can be frightening and overwhelming they are normal reactions to loss. Accepting them as part of the grieving process and allowing yourself to feel what you feel is necessary for healing.

What is grief? When we have emotional, physical and spiritual reactions in response to a death or loss, it is known as grief or grieving. People who are grieving might:

  • Have physical reactions, such as not sleeping or even waves of nausea.
  • Feel strong emotions, such as sadness and anger.
  • Have spiritual reactions to a death, such as questioning their beliefs and feeling disappointed in their religion while others find that they feel more strongly than ever about their truth.

 The grieving process takes time and healing usually happened gradually. The intensity of grief may be related to how sudden or predictable that loss was and how you felt about the person whom you have lost.

 Some people write about grief happening in stages, but usually it feels more like waves or cycles of grief that come and go depending on what you are doing and if there are triggers for remembering the person who has died.

 If you have lost someone in your immediate family, such as a brother, sister or parent you may feel cheated out of time you wanted to have with that person. It can also feel hard to express your own grief when other family members are grieving, also.

 Some people may hold back their own grief or avoid talking about the person who died because they worry that it may make a parent or other family member sad. It is also natural to feel some guilt over a past argument or a difficult relationship with the person who died.

 But we do not only grieve over the death of another person. The death of a beloved pet can trigger strong feelings of grief as well. People may be surprised by how painful this loss can be. But the loving bonds we share with pets are real, and so are the feelings of loss and grief when they die.

 All of these feelings and reactions are okay, but what can people do to get through them? How long does grief last? Will things ever get back to normal? And how will you go on without the person who has died?

 The simple most important factor in healing from loss is having the support or other people. Even if you are not comfortable talking about you’re feeling under normal circumstances, it is important to express them when you are grieving. Sharing your loss makes the burden of a heartache easier to carry. Wherever the support comes from, accept it and do not grieve alone. Connecting to others will help you heal.