Embracing Forgiveness to Move Forward

When you are hurt by someone you love and trust, this can cause you to become angry, confused or sad. If you dwell on hurtful situations and events, grudges filled with resentment, hostility and vengeance can take root. If you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. By embracing forgiveness, you can embrace peace, gratitude, joy and hope. Consider how forgiveness can lead you down the path of emotional, physical, and spiritual well being.

What is Forgiveness?

Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act of hurt or offense might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive part of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of empathy, compassion and understanding for the one who hurt you.

Why Should I Forgive?

If you are unforgiving, you might pay the price repeatedly by bringing bitterness and anger into every relationship and new experience. Your life might become so wrapped up in the wrong that was done you can not enjoy the present. You might become anxious or depressed. You might feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you are at odds with your spiritual beliefs. You might lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others.

What Forgiveness is Not

Getting another person to change his or her actions, behavior or words is not the point of forgiveness. Forgiveness also does not pretend that everything is okay. Rather, forgiveness acknowledges that a wrong was committed, and at the same time, empowers you to release the hurt from affecting you. Think of forgiveness more about how it can change your life by bringing you happiness, emotional and spiritual healing, and peace. Forgiveness can take away the power the other person continues to exert in your life.

Why is Forgiveness so Difficult?

Forgiveness can be challenging for several reasons. Emotional pain from being hurt can be deep and long-lasting, making it feel like letting go minimizes our suffering. There is also the fear of repetition, where forgiving someone might seem like giving them a free pass to hurt us again. This fear can make it hard to let go of past grievances. Additionally, we often feel that forgiving someone means they are not held accountable for their actions, creating a sense of injustice. Holding onto anger and resentment can feel like a way to protect ourselves from future harm, making it difficult to trust that forgiveness will not leave us vulnerable.

Also, our identity and ego can become tied to our grievances, making it feel like letting go means losing a part of ourselves or admitting weakness. Without understanding the reasons behind someone’s actions, it can be hard to empathize and forgive, with miscommunication and lack of closure further hindering the process. Despite these challenges, forgiveness is a powerful tool for personal healing and growth. It allows us to release negative emotions and move forward with a lighter heart. If you are struggling with forgiveness, consider seeking support from Inspire ME (IME), we are licensed therapists who can guide you through the process.

How do I forgive myself for hurting someone?

The first step to overcoming hurt or wrongdoing is to honestly assess and acknowledge the wrongs that you have done, and how those wrongs have affected others. At the same time, avoid judging yourself too harshly. You are human, and you will make mistakes. If you are truly sorry for something you said or did, consider admitting it to those you have harmed.

Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change. To begin, you might:

• Consider the value of forgiveness and its importance in your life at a given time
• Reflect on the facts of the situation, how you have reached to this point, and how this combination has affected your life, well being and health
• Move away from your role as victim and release the power and control the offending person and situation has had in your life
• When you are ready, actively choose to forgive the person who offended you

What does the Bible say about forgiving yourself?

The Bible does not explicitly command us to forgive ourselves, but it emphasizes seeking God’s forgiveness and embracing His grace. 

God’s Forgiveness: The Bible teaches that if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). This assurance of God’s forgiveness can help us release our own guilt and self-condemnation.

No Condemnation: Romans 8:1 states, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” This verse reminds us that once we are forgiven by God, we are no longer condemned, which can help us forgive ourselves.

Compassion and Kindness: Ephesians 4:32 encourages us to be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ, God forgave us. This principle can be applied to ourselves as well, promoting self-compassion and forgiveness.

While the Bible focuses on God’s forgiveness, these teachings can guide us in letting go of self-blame and embracing self-forgiveness through God’s grace. If you are struggling with this, consider reflecting on these scriptures and seeking support from a faith-based counselor or spiritual advisor.

Self Forgiveness Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,

I come before You with a heavy heart, burdened by guilt and regret. I know that You are a God of mercy and forgiveness, and I seek Your grace to help me forgive myself.

Please grant me the strength to let go of my past mistakes and the wisdom to learn from them. Help me to see myself through Your eyes, as a beloved child worthy of love and compassion.

Fill my heart with Your peace and guide me towards healing. May Your love wash over me, cleansing me of self-condemnation and filling me with hope for the future.

Thank You for Your endless mercy and for the gift of forgiveness. I trust in Your promise that I am forgiven and free.

In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

What happens after forgiveness?

When you have reached the state of forgiveness, being near the person who hurt you, this may bring feelings of stress and tense muscles. When handling these situations, consider that you can choose to attend or can avoid specific functions and gatherings. Respect yourself and do what seems best. If you choose to attend, do not be surprised by a certain amount of awkwardness and perhaps even more intense feelings. Do your best to keep an open mind and heart. You might find that the experience helps you to forgive as you move forward.

Need help embracing forgiveness?

At Inspire ME (IME) we are dedicated to helping individuals, couples, and families resolve conflicts, embrace forgiveness, and move forward to live happy, healthy lives. Through compassionate and personalized support, we provide the tools and strategies needed to heal and grow. If you are ready to take the next step towards a brighter future, reach out to IME to learn more about our Christian counseling services and how we can support your journey to well-being.