Different Ways of Grieving pt 2

In this part 2 we continue to look at the different ways of grieving and some of the ways of coping with grief. Grieving is a personal and highly individual experience. How you grieve depends on many factors, including your personality and coping skills, your life experience, your faith, and the nature of the loss.

Some people reach out for support from others and find comfort in good memories. Other people become depressed and withdraw from their peers or go out of the way to avoid the places or situations that remind them of the person who has died. Some people become very busy to take their mind off the loss while some simply shut down and refuse to do anything. Some people sometimes deal with their sorrow by engaging in dangerous or self destructive activities doing things like drugs, drinking, or cutting yourself to escape from the reality of a loss. This may seem to numb the pain, but the feeling is only temporary and is not really dealing with the pain, only masking it, which makes all those feelings build up inside and only prolong the grief.

For some people, it can help to talk about the loss with others. Some do this naturally and easily with friends and family, while others talk to a professional therapist. Some people may not want to talk about it because they find it hard to find the words to express such deep and personal emotion or talking about it makes them feel the hurt more. This is fine, as long as you find other ways to deal with your pain.

When you are grieving it is more important than ever to take care of yourself. The stress of a major loss can quickly deplete your energy and emotional reserves. Looking after your physical, emotions and spiritual needs will help you get through the difficult time

The grieving process takes time. Healing happens gradually; it cannot be forced or hurried and there is no normal timetable from grieving. Some people start to feel better in weeks or months. For others, the grieving process is measured in years. Whatever your grief experience, it is important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold. Here are some suggestions to finding support after a loss:

  • Face your feelings
  • Express your feelings in a tangible or creative way
  • Turn to friends and family members
  • Draw comfort from your faith
  • Join a support group
  • Talk to a therapist or grief counselor
  • Look after your physical health
  • Do not let anyone tell you how to feel, and do not tell yourself how to feel either
  • Plan ahead for grief triggers- anniversaries, holidays and milestones can reawaken memories

With time, the support of family and friends along with your positive actions, you can find ways to cope with even the deepest loss.